I was just not ready to go to Delhi. I just couldn’t let myself get ready to go to the place I had always been with my soul sister. But then time waits for none right!!! I did go there for byuu and vittu mami.
The day I reached I had mixed emotions about being in the house where I saw pucchi getting ready. I saw her taking her phone to the loo and I laughed at her. I had seen her reading newspaper lying in the passage, I saw her making rotis in the kitchen…the kitchen where we made Maggi and chai at4 amand not to forget bread butter just in case we feel hungrier, where I saw her in the drawing room sitting with her laptop searching all possible people on Facebook that she got intimidated with and showing me how they look, how they got married, their honeymoon and their husbands…who are mostly handsome and we used to adore them.
To the sofa where we sat and did endless gossips, I saw her crying sitting there talking about how people have hurt her by making her feel bad about her failures, I assured her that those people are not worth her tears and time because they never knew how rich pucchi is…she may not have got all that she desired for in her life…but she worked hard for every single thing…it was just not meant to be her in this birth…unlike people who do nothing but enjoy a good life…a good long life without understanding the importance of others who make the life beautiful…she did!!
She made enormous efforts to fix every relationship in her life…she tried with people who she absolutely hated…coz she was a pure soul whose birth was a blessing to all of those who knew her…she dint get whatever she wanted in this life coz she was not here for her dreams she was here for us…to make us learn things we could have otherwise never understood…and to go away when we were to learn the biggest thing about life …”death”…death that doesn’t understand who you are or how rich you are or how you work or how good you are and mostly how you plan to live and mend if it spares you…it will come to you on the time it is to come…we have to learn that life will not stop…but death too will not…
I lived in the same house…many times I felt her looking at me…. the presence engulfing me hard…. making me cry with every silent moment in that house…coz I could never be in that house unless I felt you were there. You gave me two beautiful relations pucchi….
Vittuu mamii…ohh godd!!! This women…she is the best in the world…she knows how to be with us…she understands and only understands…never complains, she is the warmth that always makes you feel at home.
Byuuu…. She is one mighty girl you know…I have never known her like how I know her now…she is soo gentle and pure…for world she might be a volcano ready to erupt but when I see her with nooni…she is just so pure and just so patient…unlike what people see…making me realise people judge you by the outside…and by the face you show them…it takes real love to see you from within…and I am glad I could see it…coz slowly I started loving your life…the people in it…
jiju…I love him the most. He is like a calm wind to all the problems bundled up like heat…he makes us laugh soo much. No wonder you adored him. I adore him now…he is soo cute, he makes us realise that after loosing you life dint stop…crying will never bring you back to us…laughing may bring you the immense happiness. Like its you sitting just next to us and laughing with us…I know how you laughed…that look of joy in your eyes…
I miss you…these memories are like waves…they come regularly…sometimes they go so high and come with very strong force and take me with them…and sometimes just small gentle reminders that you are here…
My Delhi trip was amazing…it always had been. Byuu has become an inseparable part of my life and I promise I won’t let go off her…. I will not be angry with her or misunderstand her…like I did with you and I am sorry for that…
I will stick around and tell nooni about how amazing and pure her aati was…and that she left no stones unturned to make the time special when she was with you nooni… Sonu aati will always be your guardian angel, like she is mine.
So be here?I know you will be… Through this journey…called life… I will love you till place known as “forever”.
P.S – Bitch, Main bihari tu bihari
If you guys have made it till end. I would like to make things a bit clearer for you all.
Puchhi is my elder sister aka Sonu Rattan. By relation she is my cousin but we both are connected by soul. She passed away on 3rd July 2015 in a car accident.
This was my first trip to her place after her death.
Byuu is her elder sister (Kapila Rattan Bhowmik) also the co-author of this blog.
Vittu mami is her mother.
When we started this blog we wanted to dedicate one post for Sonu. She is the biggest reason that we both reached at this point of our life, since, we are always going to be connected to the reader of our blog, we wanted to share this with you all just to tell you about this beautiful soul and her painful demise from this world. Hence we decided to post this one part from my personal diary as this dedication to her.
Now that you know the reason of this blog coming to existence. We both welcome you to our little world filled with joy, sorrow, excitement, happiness, thrills, makeup, craziness, life experiences… in short Every Little Thing that makes life a journey worth living.