I thought parenting was easy and thought to be the best mom ever. I never understood why people said, “It takes a village”. Luckily, motherhood has been the most humbling experience and the karma hit me hard once I became a mother. The motherhood business is no joke and it definitely takes a ( very large) village to raise the tiny little humans. You definitely need a good support system that you can call your tribe. Your mom tribe is going to help you strive and stay sane. Here is the Support System for Working Women every mom out there needs.
Support System for Working Women
The most Reliable Childcare
A Daycare or a caretaker is one of the important pillars in the system to support Working Women.
It is so important that you find the most reliable and trustworthy childcare for your baby. The key here is “Do not settle“. Keep searching until you find someone who loves kids. Observe them how they treat kids. You should be looking for someone who treats the kids as their own and is incredibly reliable. I know this sounds like an illusion but there are a lot of incredibly loving people out there. Just keep searching and asking around.
Once you find something of your liking, you should make sure that they are flexible and provide convenience. In any case, be upfront with your expectations at the very beginning. It is always best to talk before you have set things up and your child is emotionally attached to something. Make sure you mention the long commute and late working hours in advance Make sure the lines of communication are wide open.
At the end of your day, trust your mommy’s gut. The intuition of a mother is amazing, if something doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t right. You should never settle with this tribe member.
A good house help takes a lot of pressure off of you, even if they come just once for a few tasks that you never get a chance to look into. For me, I used to spend my evenings chasing kids around or picking up the building blocks, books, and other stationery.
It left me with no time and energy. At that particular moment, the mom guilt kicks in that I am so horrible for having a messy home.
You do it or not, you are going to have mom-guilt anyways. So I decided I would rather have the guilt with a clean home. I started looking for a house help for non-cooking tasks.
Now when you are hiring a house help, make sure you are upfront with what you are looking for them to do, how you want them to do it, and when you want them to do it. Keeping a schedule for activities divided into daily, weekly and monthly has worked for me.
I promise you one thing once you have a house help in place, the feeling when you come home with no mom guilt and plenty of time for your kids is pure bliss.
Do I even need to even say this? If you are a working mom, support from your partner is the lifeline of your career. My husband and I, are a great team. We coordinate our schedules so that we don’t have to miss meetings and important work.
Now, we all agree, male and female brains are totally different. Hence the men can drive you crazy (sorry if you are reading this :D,I still love you!).
What I have found is that I have to be very explicit and specific with what I need my husband to do.
I can’t just ask him to “come home early”. I have to ask him to come home at 5:35 pm. If I don’t do that he would walk in around 5 minutes earlier than he normally does.
Sunday evenings to early nights are our setting the week right days usually. This is when we discuss schedules and I ask exactly what you need from him.
By the way, cleaning is no different when it comes to “Dad-clean” in comparison to “Mom-clean”. Instead of asking him to clean the house, leave a list of specific tasks.
Nonetheless, a good partner can be a working mom’s savior.
A Working Mom Friend
Every mom needs to have a mom-friend. A mom that understands that you will likely cancel plans at the last minute, that you may not respond to a text message for weeks, and won’t judge you for hiding in the bathroom so you can get a moment to yourself.
Follow me on Instagram for the fabulous mom community I have there to support
Working moms anyway experience a lot of guilt on a daily basis, it is always nice to have someone to talk to that just gets what you are feeling it. Especially when your kids are close in age, it will be a lot more helpful and fun. Maybe once in a while trade-off babysitting for an evening. This gives you extra time to catch up with your to-do list or binge-watch Netflix ( isn’t that a better option 😀 ).
If you don’t have a working-mom friend, try going to the playground after work with the kids. Usually, a lot of stay at home moms have already gone home for the day so that leaves the working moms and the kids there at that time.
What about starting a working-mom group in your neighborhood to connect with other working moms to talk and meet and have some playdates.
A Great Boss
Working moms need a supportive and empathetic boss. Some are very lucky to have one. But if you fall into a situation when you are not lucky. I would advise to talk to the boss and set expectations and procedures upfront. Talk and converse about schedule flexibility so that it does not look like you are taking undue advantage. Keep the lines of communication open and keep taking consistent feedback on your performance.
If your boss remains unsupportive, consider finding a new job and changing your boss. A lot of companies these days are becoming supportive of working women and have policies around supporting mothers who want to continue their professional careers as well.
Who else do you think is part of the Support System for Working Woman? Comment below and tag people of your tribe.
This post is written as part of the BlogchatterA2Z challenge.