If you’re a working mom, you are not strange to the term “Working Mom Guilt”. It is the guilt of dropping your child to the daycare when all they wanted is to be at home with you. The guilt of missing your child’s important events and milestones because you were at work. The Guilt of not living up to the preconceived notions of what motherhood is all about.
Mom guilt overall itself sucks and I am not here to pretend that we can banish the working mom guilt as we all somewhere know that it is impossible. But Yes we can fight the Working Mom Guilt.
How to Deal with Working Mom Guilt
Understand Working Mom Guilt
Before we try to work on overcoming the working mom guilt. We need to understand why we feel guilty in the first place?
Society’s Expectations
For most of the new mommies who start their career after maternity, the guilt starts appearing from the societal pressure. Societies across the world believe that children are better off with a parent who is home full time. India is no way behind in imbibing this guilt in a new mom.
Society believes that moms should be home always. But in real life that does not happen for many of us.
We are often made to feel that we need to spend more time with our children. In spite of we planning out our day well enough that we get to spend lot of quality time with our family.
Mom Genes
Mothers are genetically programmed to become caretakers. We create life and provide milk to help our babies survive. Somewhere, even our body keeps telling us that it is our duty to nurture our kids.
The fact is that whatever we do impacts out child. If working allows you to fulfill your own or child needs better, be it financial needs, emotional needs, health needs or just the need of feeling independent, you have nothing to feel guilty about!
Create your Support System
Being a working woman, you already understand the importance of team and teamwork. Everything gets easier and fun when you have a team to work with. If you work from home, get a help. This help can be of any form – cook, helper or someone from the family member. This will help you overcome the feeling of falling short in life.
Have your own Mom Squad
A critical component in your support team is a good Mom squad. This is a group or at least one woman who relates to you and your situations. One who understands your guilt, frustrations, fear, anxiety and share your joys and excitement at the same time. Find an online group if you can’t find someone to talk to you in person.
If you ask why is it important?
Because this quad will be the place where you can ask your questions, share your thoughts and opinions, seek any advice or support.
Seek Out Role Models and Mentors
Apart from a support system, a mom squad, have a list of people you admire and are your inspiration.
It is important to have a role model image. Observer how are they living the life you have imagined for yourself.
Where can you find role model?
- Female leaders within your organization
- Read articles and books featuring inspiring women who have accomplished in their fields.
Find stories of working moms on different parenting or career stages and read on how they juggle work life balance.
Focus on the Benefits of Your Actions
Once you identify and understand your source of mom guilt, you would realize that the guilt is more of emotions than logic.
I hope you understand that your reason for working may be different, but all these reasons have one common reason and that is to make your home and life better. Whatever is your reason, enjoy those reasons and benefits you get for working towards them.
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This post is written as part of the BlogchatterA2Z challenge.
